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iwrotethisforeriza

Month

May 2013

Remember

“You’re so much more to me than you think.”

Always remember that, E.

Stare

Hello, E.

I just saw you almost an hour ago infront of National Bookstore. I saw your smiling face and I can see the eagerness from your eyes. I saw as if you are waiting for someone. I really didn’t bother to know, but I felt sad seeing you seeing someone aside from those people that I already met.

I was being stupid for not staying. I had this gut feeling that you don’t want me to stay there, so I went to Kenny Rogers instead to meet with my student TJ.

And then I called you. I called you because I was longing for your voice. I want to have those moments where I want you to become that person that I can talk with at the start and at the end of the day.

When I said that I will go back and see you, I really meant it. I went back near the book store an didn’t saw you there. You can really walk fast, I must say. Did you really want to avoid me or not?

I was surprised that you’re seeing with someone not from CSB. I really didn’t know what to react when I heard that, even up to know. (I am still waiting for that next date with you. Maybe I was too hesitant to ask? Maybe not.)

Also, this was the day I first received an ‘I love you.’ text from you, even though it was part of a joke. Sometimes, E, jokes are half-meant.

I really want this guy, badly. I really want this person you can be proud of. Though my feelings for you haven’t changed a bit. I still long for you even from the distance (and not in a stalker way).

I do hope you will enjoy watching the three movies that I shared to you. ‘Like Crazy’ is the best among those three. (I suddenly reminisced when you went straight to my workstation and strike a conversation with me. I hope we have a lot of moments like that.)

Can I say I miss you even though we just saw each other today?

I also like your orange jacket. You’re like a small kid. (Where did you got it anyway?)

Sorry if I keep on posting random things about today.

I really want to have a human moment with you right now, E.

Talk and see you soon, beautiful.

A.

Just Saying

If you ever need nothing, I am totally here for you.

 

Good morning, E.

What if...

A and E met during their childhood for the first time?

Like Crazy

Good evening, E.

I just finished my dinner at Chef’s Noodle (University Mall) with my former student TJ (I think you already met him before.), and I just decided to blog how did my day went today.

I was suppose to go to our office in Greenhills for work, but I decided last night to sleep the whole day. I slept around 3 AM because I watched a movie after we had a chat in Facebook.

Remember when I tweeted you about some movie recommendations that you can watch? To be honest with you, I haven’t watched both Wicker Park and Like Crazy. I just felt sharing them to you, because they came from a list that I really want to watch during my ’emo’ moments.

Anyway, Like Crazy was really a good and touchy film. I will not spoil you the details anymore, but I think you will like it because Jennifer Lawrence, the actress from the movie The Hunger Games (which came from the book series that you like), is one of the cast.

I really wish I can spend some time alone (or not alone) with you. I just feel like talking to you all day, without talking anything about school works, but our personal lives.

Can’t wait for Friday.

A.

 

Over Thinking

I like you just the way you are. Stop over thinking, that’s why you can’t sleep early.

Thank you for saying that. I really need that one. Maybe I should stop thinking about your more often? Nah, just kidding.

A.

Smile

Your letter already made my day. I’ll wear today the smile you gave me.

It also made my day when you said that. Keep smiling!

Text

Good noon, E.

I am currently in our office in Greenhills and I am waiting for my boss to show up. I woke up late this morning because I had trouble sleeping some hours ago.

I was able to the change the theme of blog, but I’m not quite sure if it fits my personality. I was trying to change the color palette into blue + black + white, but the site reverts to the default theme. Maybe because I am not allowed to change the CSS. *boring topic*

I messaged you last night and I hope you saw (or will see) it. I really ran some few words to say last night, so I just said what I felt like saying.

I should start updating my codes once again. I am hoping for a nice feedback coming from boss when I demonstrate it to him later.

It’s been only a day, but I am already missing you.

Hope you have a nice day!

A.

Hello World

04:31 AM (My Room)

Hi E,

Good morning.

I just decided to make a blog because I can’t sleep yet. I just finished updating a module from one of my projects and I thought of having a small break after a demanding programming tasks. You just said ‘good night’ to me a few minutes and you’re probably sleeping right now.

I just want to spill out everything I want to talk about you here in this small blog, since there’s no chance for us to talk personally. I am currently using Word 2013 to type this short post (and then later post this to a blog) before I can hit the sack. My Internet connection is not cooperating with me as of the moment, so I decided to this offline. You might not be able to see this post (and a lot of this) for a very long time, but I really want to keep track of everything that I really wanted to say to you for every day that we don’t see each other. Sounds crazy, right? I’m not also 100% sure why I am doing this, but right now, I felt like doing it.

Sorry for the bad grammar and for the inconsistencies of this blog post and my future blog posts. I will try my best to improve my writing skills, as if you will like reading this like reading a novel during your spare time. I will also start reading books (or e-books) to improve my vocabulary. I just realize about being a fan of The Hunger Games series, and you already finished reading them if I am not mistaken. Bookworms like you are really something.

 Me and your ex-classmate just had a conversation about you an hour ago. It was an enlightening chat, though some of the things we talked about you were quite biased. Anyway, he gave me some ‘tips’ on what should I expect from you. I was smiling the whole time when he said you are a really nice person. I even asked him if he was sarcastic about it, but then he said no, so I guess he’s really telling the truth. He also mentioned about a guy from my WB-DEV1 class who likes you. I don’t know but I just said to him that I don’t feel threatened at all.  

We seldom talk about personal things for some time now and I really missed that moment with you. Too be honest with you, I really wanted to talk with you before (and even after) our class. I was a little bit shocked that you were ignoring me, but later on I realized that it was my problem for not saying hi back to you. Probably, it was one of the days that I can’t really smile the whole time because I am currently challenged with my work. I also had a hard time sleeping the other day. So I guess, there was a sleeping factor when you thought I was snobby.

It’s almost 5 AM and I still can’t stop thinking about the other night when you texted me. It was my first time to receive a text like that. I was a little bit surprised that you included a kiss emoticon, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t mean anything (or is it?). *insert laugh here* I was also giggling to myself when you also put that emoticon when you said goodnight. Butterflies in my stomach.

Not sure but you looked tired when I saw you during my class. Or maybe my eyes were really tired, that’s why I was assuming things. Speaking of class, I was really hoping that you will sit on your usual seat (right in front of me), but the other seat was already taken by one of your classmate. You really can’t split with Mr. Banan, don’t you? By the way, I was almost staring at you (not a creepy way) the whole time during your class’ ice breaker activity. I caught some of your smiles and they made me smile a little.)

Speaking of the activity, didn’t you notice that I faked myself asking you when your birthday is? I am not sure if you’re aware of that. I asked about it so that your classmates would also know. Anyway, it was an awkward moment because I am really not expert in faking myself to the class.

You said goodbye to me before you left my class and I also said goodbye. How I wish I can still have more time with you since I can only see you every week. I am still looking forward to those ‘unsettled’ dates we have. *insert smirk here*

I also texted you if you are going to confirm about the Sungha Jung’s concert. I am still having this excitement that I will ask you out to watch his concert. We talked about the text during our chat, and you were confused about my question, since you haven’t read my letter yet. I do hope you can still read it even though I find it embarrassing because of my lame handwriting. And yes, I feel like I’m a high school student doing this ways to get your attention. Sorry if I keep on constantly annoying you even during the time of your rest.

I also just want to tell that Abram is currently focused with Eriza. I don’t want to mix up the signals that I am sending to you, but if this will take you a lot of time to digest, please feel free to do it. My feelings should only stay like this for now.

I can’t think too much of anything I can say, so I will end this post. I can almost see the sunrise from my window and I only have less than 3 hours to sleep. I will be having a meeting with my boss around 1 PM, but I have to be in the office around 9 PM. Wish me luck on my client meeting this afternoon, by the way.

Good night, beautiful person.

Liking you from a distance,

A.

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